Atonement
by supernatural-sweet-hearts
Summary: "How can you protect me if you can't even protect yourself?" Tommy Madsen has resigned himself to a life of guilt and self-hatred. Until he meets a girl who may give him a chance to atone for his sins. Tommy Madsen/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One; **Coffee and Observers

**Disclaimer; **I own nothing, Alcatraz and all characters belong to FOX and in my case Channel Nine and J.J Abrams.

**Authors Note;** This is my first Alcatraz fanfiction and my first multi-chapter fan fiction (hopefully). Please read and review. I hope you enjoy it.

Coffee was something that he took for granted before Alcatraz, how a good cup of Joe could make you more alert, warm your insides and be the basis for a good long conversation. Now in 2012, there were all these ridiculous coffees; flat white, latte, mocha and piccolo, what the hell is a piccolo? No, he was perfectly happy with a long black, a coffee choice that was similar to the stuff he drank before all hell broke loose. He was seated at the counter of a small diner, his hands wrapped around his mug, as if he was afraid letting go. He heard the tingle of the bell and swung around to see the new patron, always on alert always ready to flee at the slightest hint of danger. She was a young woman, about his age, well the age he looked like, maybe a little younger with brown hair, dressed in jeans and a simple long sleeved top, he noticed how her eyes swept around the room, paying special attention to the exits, before landing on him. It was a quick glance, their eyes meeting before she looked away continuing her survey of the small non-descript diner, marking him as unimportant. She walked to the counter her head held, an air of self confidence and assurance around her, something that he also noticed a large majority of women these days were missing.

"Can I have a caramel latte to go, please?"She said, flashing a polite smile to the teenager behind the counter, who nodded her head and wrote down the order. Tommy scoffed, shaking his head in astonishment, the woman looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "You have a problem with my coffee choices?" she asked her voice hinting towards both amusement and annoyance. He smirked at her, adjusting his position on the uncomfortable stool so he was able to see her clearly.

"What's the point in getting a coffee if you can even taste it?"

"Who says I like the taste of coffee?"

"Then why do you drink if you don't like the taste of it?" He asked, out of pure curiosity, it not like they didn't have those foul and disgusting energy drinks, that gave you a stronger caffeine hit than coffee.

"I never said I didn't." she smirked at him, taking the offered coffee from the barista, offered a thankful smile in his direction before looking back to him. "Have a good day" she told him before turning on her heels and exiting out the door she came through. Tommy followed her with his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips, before he let out soft chuckle and shook his head in amusement in for the second time today, before finishing his coffee and throwing a couple of bills on the counter and making his own exit out the back door.

* * *

The next time he saw her she was there before him sitting at one of the tables towards the back of the diner closest to the back exit but still in clear view of the front door, he wondered if it was from coincidence or she sat there for the exact same reasons he would. She was alone with books spread out across the table and papers scattered on and under them, she looked frazzled her, hair falling out of her messy bun, tapping her pen on the table as she skimmed through one of the larger books on the table, her frustration evident as she slammed the book closed and picked another scanning it with the same impatience. He hesitated for a moment, before walking over and sitting across from her silently.

"You never answered my question." He said, watching as she jumped and gripped her pen as if she was going to stab him with it. Confusion crossed her face as she searched his, he waited patiently as recognition dawned, and she let out soft chuckle.

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that," she reprimanded, " and for your information I happen to like my coffee, just the way it is whether or not I can taste the coffee or not, which I can though." pointing her pen at him to enforce her point.

"Sure you can." He smirked; she returned the smirk looking back down at her piece of paper briefly before looking back at him expectantly. "Can I buy you cup of sugar and milk?" He asked his smirk widening as she laughed, and nodded.

"Sure why not, I'm getting over this anyway." Tiding her papers and books she pushed them aside as he got up to go to the counter to order their coffees. Tommy suddenly felt nervous, he wasn't sure why he asked her if he could by her coffee, but pushed it aside telling himself that he just wanted some form of human interaction, something he had been missing. After placing the order, he turned back to the table to see her texting someone on her phone as she waited patiently for him to return. He couldn't understand how those things worked; he had seen them but had never used one and had no intention to, if he wanted to speak to someone he would call them, not that he really had anyone to speak to. The waitress handed back his change telling him that their coffees will be over shortly and after he gave her a small nod of thanks he returned to the table where the woman had just put her phone away."

"Thanks for that, what do I owe you?" She asked as he sat down reaching for her wallet.

"Don't worry about it, it's on me."

"No, it..."

"Really, I insist." He cut her off, a small smile on his lips, the changes in customs, in attitudes especially towards women continually amused him, yet he wasn't sure if this new found equality was a good thing yet.

"Oh, ok... I guess chivalry really isn't dead." She quipped, a thankful smile across she placed her wallet on her table. He laughed, the irony of the statement didn't elude him, he should be dead or close to it. "So, do you have a name? I mean you've criticized my coffee choices, stalked me and given me a reprieve from bashing my head against a brick wall over this assignment, and I don't even know your name." She asked a smile on her face as played with a necklace hanging around her neck, he couldn't see the one she had in her hand, but he could tell it was gold, and he could see another necklace, larger than the one she was playing with, it was an old chain, he thought it might of been a ball chain but couldn't be sure. The pendent fell under her shirt and he didn't feel comfortable looking to see if it was visible under her shirt. Yes, chivalry was very much alive.

"Tommy, my name is Tommy, and I'm not stalking you, just observing." He answered with a smile, meeting her brown eyes as she laughed.

"Well, Tommy, if I get any dead flowers sent in the mail I'll be sure to ask you who sent them." She said eyes bright with playfulness. She turned to the waitress who placed their coffees table asking if they needed anything else, after the waitress learnt that they didn't she quickly scurried off, but not before flashing Tommy a bright smile and a wink, which he promptly ignored.

"So, you know my name, isn't fair that I should I know yours?" he queried, watching in both amusement and disgust as she began scooping the foam of her sugary drink and began eating it. Realising she had been caught _eating _a drink she blushed before chuckling along with him.

"Well, I'm not sure if it's the smartest thing to tell my _observer_ my name, but you seem pretty harmless enough. My name is Chloe." She said her bare nails taping against her latte glass lightly. Tommy nearly choked on his drink, _harmless_, yeah right, harmless men don't get sent to Alcatraz for killing their wives in front of their son. Suddenly wave guilt passed over him and he realised uncomfortably that for these few short minutes, he didn't feel guilt, he didn't feel and perhaps this was the most unsettling thing of all. Chloe must have noticed the change and she lightly touched his wrist with her fingertips, "Hey, are you ok?" Wasn't that a loaded question, was he ok? He wanted to tell her; no, he wasn't ok; mentally or physically, that he wished that he could go back to when everything wasn't screwed up. But he didn't.

"Yeah sorry, Chloe I'm fine." He smiled reassuringly, though he knew it was false and somehow he thought she knew it too. She removed her hand and suddenly he wished he could take it back and never let go, it had been so long since he had experience human touch and he missed it. She smiled too, though hers seemed more believable than his.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two; **Anonymity and Small Pleasures

**Disclaimer; **I own nothing, Alcatraz and all characters belong to FOX and in my case Channel Nine and J.J Abrams.

**Authors Note; **I just want to say thank you to SachikoisGreato, WhatTheCensoredXD and realawesome for reviewing and SachikoisGreato, WhatTheCensoredXD, Xxchristabellex and jjnnrr for adding this story to their alerts, SachikoisGreato and realawesome for adding this story to their favourite story list and finally SachikoisGreato for adding me on their author alert list and their favourite author list. Thank you guys, you made my week and I really hope this meets your expectations. I might not be able to update for a while I'll try my best but I have a number of assignments due all in the same week so I'll be extremely busy and stressed for the next couple of weeks. Once again thank you so much and I hope you enjoy.

She liked San Francisco, the hills, the good weather and most of all the anonymity. When she was young she strived to be popular, to be known, a goal that was common amongst most teenage girls, but sometimes the old saying strikes true; be careful what you wish for. Moving to San Francisco she was overwhelmed by the crowds, feeling lost amongst the masses of people, but she grew to love it and now she wouldn't have it any other way. She still had that little desire though to be recognised to be known and that's why she went to the same little diner at the same time everyday to order the same coffee and if she had time to sit at the same table. She liked being known even if it was only for her coffee choice, it gave her the feeling that she wasn't alone. That diner, _her _diner was where she met Tommy. She hadn't seen him since he had brought her coffee and walked her home, she found it sweet that he insisted on carrying her books despite her protests, she did carry them all the way to the diner after all, but nevertheless he insisted and she allowed him to. She was unsure of him, sometimes the thought of him scared her and the amount of times she thought of him wasn't very pleasant either, it's not often that you find a man willing to buy you coffee, carry your books for twenty minutes and leave with a small smile and expecting nothing in return.

Pushing the door open to the diner, she was surprised to see him sitting at her table with mug of coffee and a latte next to him, his head lifting up as the jingle of the bell rang announcing her arrival. He smiled when her saw her, gesturing to what she presumed to be her coffee. She froze, her eyes darting from the coffee to his face, she wasn't sure what to do, wasn't sure what he wanted. Taking her hand slowly off the door, she glanced behind her to make sure no one was waiting to get through. Letting her hand to drop down to her side to grasp the strap of her bag, she walked slowly towards the table, plastering a smile on her face as he greeted her.

"Hello, coffee?" He turned the coffee so that the handle was closest to her right hand were she to sit down. She looked down to the coffee and back up to him, who was staring at her expectantly. She swallowed, placing her bag on the floor before sitting down, smoothing out her skirt in hopes to calm her shaking hands.

"Sure, thank you," She offered with a small smile taking a sip of the still hot drink, he mustn't have been waiting long, it was slightly unnerving that he knew she was coming in. "How did you know I was coming in?" she asked tightening her hold around the glass so it wouldn't slip from her sweaty palms. He cocked his head to the side playfully, a small smile tugging at his lips as he too wrapped his hands around his mug.

"Don't you remember? I'm observing you." he joked, pulling a smile, albeit a hesitant one from her. "No really, I was just getting my coffee and the waitress told me you'd be coming in for your morning coffee soon, so I thought I get you one." He reassured, watching as some of the tension left her shoulders.

"Well, I guess I'll have to thank her for helping me save my money." She replied cheekily, flashing him a genuine smile, which he returned, relieved that she was comfortable with him being so forward. Putting her glass down she picked up her necklace fiddling with it, the same gold one she was wearing two weeks ago, he could see it clearly now it was an engraved locket, an old one at that and was probably no bigger than his thumb nail. She caught him looking at it, and quickly dropped it blushing, "Sorry, nervous habit, I'll probably break it one day." Tommy's replied was interrupted by some crappy tune that he didn't recognise; didn't anyone recognise good music these days?

"Sorry," she couldn't help being a little disappointed; after digging through her bag she finally found the phone, looking at her caller id, "It's important, I have to take this, sorry." She apologised again, standing to walk outside where she could have some privacy, smiling softy at his understanding nod. Tommy waited patiently as he saw her pace outside, talking into the phone playing with her necklace once again. He noticed in her bag, her ridiculously large bag had textbooks with the University of San Francisco label on them, lightly adjusting the leather of the bag he was able to see the title of the book, _A History of American Literature _his interest was officially peaked, he went to the University of San Francisco, he wanted to be an engineer once upon a time, before the war, before Alcatraz, it felt like a lifetime ago, but then again, it kind of was. He was startled when she returned to the table, sliding smoothly into her seat.

"Sorry, about that. It was my study partner; he wants to meet earlier than we planned." She dumped her phone into her bag to get lost amongst the numerous books, papers and post-its. "What were you going to say before?" picking up her coffee, she savoured the heat that was warming her hands, there was a cold wind outside and now her hands were stiff and aching.

"Nothing, don't worry about it, what time are you meeting up with your partner?" He asked hoping that his time with her wouldn't be cut short; she gave him some semblance of peace, normality in his chaotic and often violent life. The waitress that told him she was coming in, appeared at their table looking harried, it was only then that he realised how busy the small diner was. Chloe turned to the waitress with a smile, which the waitress returned as she recognised exactly what table she was serving.

"Can I get you guys anything? Something to eat perhaps?"

"Could I please have a take-away cup?" The waitress' smile faltered a little, shooting him a look he couldn't decipher; he didn't understand all these looks and hidden meanings that were used these days. Chloe turned her attention to him; "I have to meet him in about half an hour, sorry." She reached out to touch his wrist lightly, the same way she did the last time they met, in a purely platonic move, but he couldn't help but revel in the feeling of a woman touching him, of anyone touching him. There was a slight pang of guilt in his stomach, he was married, a father; both of which were dead due as a consequence of his own actions and it was this knowledge that kept him awake at night and there was this fear, one that was not completely unfounded that someone else that he cared for would be hurt because of him; Ray, Rebecca even Chloe despite only meeting her a little over a month ago.

"Can I please have one too? I'll walk you." the waitress' smile brightened again as she turned to look at him, her happiness was in stark contrast to Chloe's sudden removal of her hand and the tenseness of her shoulders. He stared at her, and she shifted under his gaze. "Where are you meeting him?" He was unsure how she would take his brazen attitude, he wouldn't have dared being so overconfident towards a girl in the 1950's, even now he was still hesitant, but he learnt long ago that it's the small pleasures, such as walking a young woman to her destination somewhere that are important. He was pleasantly surprised when she pulled herself together so fast that if he had blinked he would have missed it.

"The local library, it's about a twenty minute walk."

Walking through the park a comfortable silence fell over them, their coffee's long disposed, and her hands were pushed into her jacket pockets as far as they could go in attempt to protect them from the cold wind.

"What are you studying?"

"I'm majoring in English, and I'm studying history as my minor."

"Do you like it?"

"It's a lot of work, but yeah I like it."

"What are you planning to do with your degree?"

"That's the million dollar question isn't it," she let out a soft chuckle which he echoed, "I don't know yet, I'm kind of just going with it."

"What about you? What are you up to, when you're not observing me?" a cheeky smile spread across her face.

He smiled too, glad that her apprehension at the diner was gone for now. He didn't know what to say though, he didn't think that; 'well, being a dead, escaped convict kind of limits my career options, so at the moment I'm hunting murders and rapists down for a bunch of keys to open a secret door, because open sesame isn't really working for me' would go down to well.

"I'm working as a carpenter." It wasn't a lie per say, he was a carpenter; he had the references to prove it, though they wouldn't do much good now, seeing as they were signed before his imprisonment in 1957.

"Do you like it?" she repeated him, her gaze lifting from the ground to find him already looking at her. He looked guilty for a second before he shrugged.

"It pays the bills." She nodded looking away; he copied her action realising they were at the front of the library.

"Thank you for walking me, you didn't have to." She told him, appreciation clear in both her face and tone. He liked this new custom, of men not having to walk women, when he was growing up it was expected and therefore the action was unappreciated. Now people were busy, women were to independent, but when someone took the time out of their to make a sure someone got somewhere safely, it was appreciated. He simply smiled in response.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning for coffee." He said, nodding in farewell.

"Wait," she called out after he had walked a couple of steps away "Why?" walking to where he standing, she stood in front of him, shoulders back, hands out of her pocket and positioned at her side.

"Why?"

"Yes, why? Why do you want to meet me for coffee? Why do you insist on walking me everywhere? Not that I don't appreciate it, but why?"

"For the small pleasures, Chloe, I'll see you tomorrow." He turned around and walked away leaving her on the footpath, wondering what the hell she had gotten herself into.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three; **Assimilation and Judgements

**Disclaimer; **I own nothing, Alcatraz and all characters belong to FOX and in my case Channel Nine and J.J Abrams.

**Authors Note; **I want to apologise for the amount of time it has taken me to update this. What was supposed to be a couple of weeks turned out to be almost three months, in between assignments exams, working, and family dramas I've barely had time to breathe let alone write, once again I'm really sorry for making you guys wait. I want to say thank you to WhatTheCensoredXD, SachikoisGreato and VampWolf82 who reviewed and Hannie88 who added me to their favourite author list and VampWolf82 who added me to their author alerts and Hannie88, VampWolf82, cherryblossom734 and Reedy-Girl who added this story to their story alerts list and VampWolf82, Hannie88, UnicornzAreReal, Mrs Bass Malfoy and Reedy-Girl for adding this story to their favourite story list. Thank you so much, you guys have no idea how much you guys have made my day. Thank you and I hope you enjoy.

* * *

He was becoming increasingly concerned that he was becoming too comfortable, too attached. He wasn't supposed to integrate or assimilate himself, he was the advance man, his purpose was to get the keys and that was all. That he knew of anyway. He wasn't supposed to kill Rebecca's partner, he wasn't supposed to have conversations with his now older... much older brother but most of all he wasn't supposed to be meeting with a pretty young girl who was completely unassuming, innocent and normal. God, he missed normal. Normal ended for him the day he enlisted, he supposed that was why he was so attracted to her , he could actually have a normal conversation with her that didn't involve Alcatraz, keys, aging or murder, but a conversation about normal things like; food, books, movies (he couldn't contribute much though) and things that he never realised that he missed. Their encounters had gradually increased over the last two months from simply meeting at _their_ diner to various trips to the cinema and dinner. Neither of the two had yet to hint at a prospective relationship or romantic feelings. That wasn't to say they those feeling didn't exist though. He often pondered on their relationship and his unfamiliar desire for their connection to expand beyond amicable friendship. The thought scared him; he hadn't felt this way towards any woman beside Agatha, he almost felt he was betraying her, and then he remembers she probably felt betrayed when he pointed the revolver at her head.

Growing up in San Francisco he had the hometown advantage over her allowing him to take her to areas and places that she most probably wouldn't have been to or known about. However, she had the advantage of living in the twenty –first century so while he was able to take her to places like Marina Heads which she had never seen before, surprisingly he wished he could have taken her to Playland, an old amusement park that he loved when he was a kid but he had heard that it had closed down in 1972 much to his disappointment. She took him to the Marrakech Magic Theatre, a night he enjoyed more so due to the look of amazement and giddiness on her face rather than the actual magic show. This arrangement of theirs was never discussed, never questioned, neither were personal details; she didn't know his last name nor did he know hers, this sense of familiarity with another without having any real knowledge of a person's identity would frighten some people but instead it calmed him and he had a strong suspicion that she appreciated it too, the lack of labelling and preconceived notions in the relationship gave him a sense of normality and a sense of identity in the relationship that he feared that he would never receive other than a convict, murderer or a hated member of his family. He was curious though about her, but he resigned himself to waiting, if she wanted to keep secrets she could, as long as she returned the favour because God knows he has a few.

Pushing the door open to diner he was pleasantly surprised to see her here before him, he was usually first by at least fifteen minutes, to make sure nothing seemed out of the ordinary and because she for some weird reason had a preference for warm coffee over his hot coffee. She looked up at the bell and smiled warmly at him a gesture he returned as he walked towards her. She closed her books stacking them on top of each other he noticed that they were once again textbooks, it never ceased to amaze him how much she studied, how much knowledge she was forced to learn and retain in hope of gaining a decent income in a job she might not necessarily like. He didn't miss the dark circles under her eyes or her dishevelled appearance.

"Pull another all nighter?" he asked as he removed his tan jacket placing it on the table next to her books, before taking his seat.

"Yeah, I fell asleep at the library," She replied sheepishly already knowing that her answer would be met with disapproval "I was studying and I guess I lost track of time, I just came here to see you and then I'll probably go home to bed." She shrugged taking a sip of her coffee.

"You've been studying quite a bit." He stated bringing his mug up to his lips but instead of matching her action he looked over the rim of the white glazed ceramic to watch as her eyes flashed, one thing he had learned about her that was quite surprising, was that she was extremely defensive and did not like being questioned or criticised, a feature that both excited him and aggravated him, girls were never this outspoken when he was young.

"I've got a paper due and exams soon." She said putting her coffee down her fingers wrapping around the glass seeking warmth, sitting up straighter she squared her shoulders and watched as he took a sip of his coffee.

"You won't do well if you're completely worn out from all this studying." He said knowing that although it sounded like concern that she wouldn't take it that way and that he didn't mean it that way.

"Thanks for your concern but I'm sure I'll be fine." She countered her voice clipped letting him know that this topic of discussion was now over. Too bad he chose to ignore it.

"Spending every night at a library with a so-called study partner, doesn't sound very healthy or smart to me." He said, enjoying the way her hand gripped the glass a little tighter, her jaw clenched and the fire behind her eyes.

"I really don't understand what you are implying, by a 'so-called study partner' and last time I checked my choice of studying at a library was exactly that, my choice and none of your business."

"I'm just saying. What would people think? A guy and a girl going into a library together and a guy and a girl leaving together the next morning, doesn't seem very innocent."

"What is this? What are you jealous or something? I'm not sleeping with him if that is what you're trying to imply." Her voice started to rise slightly catching the attention of the patrons next to her, he hadn't realised how busy the diner had gotten in the short few moments since he entered.

"I'm not jealous, but yes, that is exactly what I'm implying." He answered, ignoring the pang of regret that had settled into his stomach, he had no choice but to do this they were becoming too close, to comfortable with each other, and being comfortable was never a good thing in his crazy and tumultuous world. She scoffed in indignation pushing her coffee away before standing to collect her books.

"Right, well it was nice knowing you." She said no trace of anger or sadness in her tone just simple indifference. He experienced a rush of panic as she walked out of the diner but ignored it. It was better this way. He noticed the same waitress that usually served their coffees looking between him and the door with distaste; he wasn't completely unaware the almost-relationship between him and Chloe was a subject of interest amongst the staff at the diner. He watched her walk over to his table the look distaste fading in to nonchalance in an attempt no doubt to appear professional. She bent down slightly to pick up the half finished still warm latte across from him.

"Trouble in paradise?" She asked, her tone betraying her attempt to appear apathetic. He looked at her long blonde hair, light blue eyes and California tanned skin, she was pretty, too pretty, he preferred plainer girls, like Chloe, though some would argue that Chloe with her brown hair and brown eyes was anything but plain.

"There wasn't any paradise to begin with." He replied. She seemed to take this as an invitation for further conversation and after taking a quick glance around the diner she took Chloe's previously occupied seat.

"Well, she didn't look very happy when she left." She said attempting to gain some further insight to the relationship between the quiet university student and the charming if not slightly imposing young man in front of her. Whilst she generally respected other people's privacy, she was a hopeless romantic at the end of the day, and the budding relationship between the two regulars was something that made her smile whenever she saw it.

"Everyone has an off day every once in a while." He took a sip of his now lukewarm coffee, the coffee acted as a barrier towards what he knew was fast becoming a somewhat make shift examination of his now most probably non – existent relationship with Chloe.

"She seemed fine earlier, tired but fine."

"Things change, moods can change."

"She really likes you," She said suddenly and he was momentarily surprised at her abruptness, he sat silently as she continued "There have been a couple of men that have taken an interest in her, but she's never given them a second thought, you're the only one, I've never seen her smile as much as I've seen her smile with you. You screw this up, buddy you'll be kicking yourself for the rest of your life. I'll see you two tomorrow." She gave him a pointed look at her last statement and stood to clear the table behind him while he still sat shocked at her bluntness. He stood leaving his half finished coffee on the table. He shrugged on his tan jacket and exited the diner not noticing the small knowing smile on the waitress' face as she watched him leave. She knew exactly where he was going.

* * *

Chloe had walked straight home, the weight of her textbooks was ignored as her anger was slowly replaced with sadness, disappointment and overall regret. She was annoyed that he had such a low opinion of her, that he would think that she was like that, she had...she _still _liked the man that had charmed her by berating her coffee choices, but her anger and sadness of their argument this morning overwhelmed this attraction resigning her to complete exhaustion she could deal with all this when she wasn't so tired. Entering her small run down house by the broken door she mentally reminded herself to get it fixed when she had the funds, as a struggling uni student she simply lived off the money she earned from tutoring her classmates and from the small jobs she did for her neighbours. Disposing of her textbooks on the stained coffee table that came with the house, she checked her phone for any missed calls or messages, she had two; both from her study partner, she was slightly disappointed until she remembered that Tommy didn't have phone, or if he did she didn't have his number and he didn't have hers. She often wondered how they manage to keep in such close contact, then she also remembers that the world managed just fine before mobile phones and would, if the need ever arose be just fine without. Slipping off her tanned boots she trudged through the house her sole objective was bed, her bed to sleep forever, the exams, broken door locks and Tommy could all wait. Reaching her bedroom she slipped out of her jeans, struggled with her bra and after finally managing to get the forsaken thing off she crawled into bed.

She awoke to loud knocking at her door and begrudgingly looked at the time; 9:37am the fluorescent green light told her. "You've got to be shitting me," she mumbled, she had only been asleep for half an hour. She burrowed deeper into her blankets in an attempt to ignore the knocking but it was persistent. "Oh, for fucks sakes." Throwing the blanket she stumbled out of the bed and marched down the hall, the cold floorboards beneath her feet were ignored as annoyance flared up inside her. Yanking open the door she saw Tommy, and was suddenly reminded of her current state of undress, as was he, she noticed as a small blush crept up his cheeks. "What are you doing here?" she asked her annoyance now tinged with embarrassment and shock.

"I was wondering if we could talk." He answered, taking extra care to make sure he looked at her face and only at her face.

"I don't think that there is anything left to say." She replied, closing the door slightly so that her body was half hidden behind the door.

"I believe there is. Can I come in?" He asked, he wasn't sure why he came here, the prodding from the waitress, and his own self – doubt about his decision probably fuelled him, was he really that uncertain about his own judgements. He still believed that I was for the best for the both of them, more for her sake than his. But nevertheless he was here on her doorstep, begging for a second chance.

"No." She replied, her brain finally starting to clear from the fogginess of just woken from a minimal sleep. She was now both cold and extremely annoyed, what was he doing here? He said his piece and she said hers, it was done and dusted; there really was nothing left to say.

"Please, Chloe." He begged; he was almost disgusted with himself for doing so. But he did, because for a reason unknown, even himself, he needed her, needed her normality.

"No, Tommy, you've said your piece and I've said mine. There is nothing more to say, you've already passed your judgements on me and I can assure you, you don't want to hear my opinion of you. Goodbye." The door closed with a soft click but sounded with such finality as she walked slowly back to bed and left the blonde haired man standing on her doorstep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four; **Mistakes and Keys

**Disclaimer; **I own nothing, Alcatraz and all characters belong to FOX and in my case Channel Nine and J.J Abrams.

**Authors Note: ** There really is no excuse for how long this has taken. All I can really say is that I'm really really sorry.

The beginning of this chapter takes place immediately after the last.

He stood dumfounded at the door staring at the peeling lacquer coating the slowly rotting wood. He definitely wasn't expecting her to shut him down and slam the door in his face; he wasn't as naive to believe that she would open the door, forgive him and they would live happily ever after, but he was hoping that just maybe, maybe she would listen, that she would grant him clemency and hear him out and maybe he could repair their already fragile relationship. Instead he stood on her doorstep while she was presumably in bed as his pleas and her dismissal hung heavily on both their minds. As he slowly gathered his thoughts, he fished around in his pockets for his pack of cigarettes, a habit he picked up while he was in Korea and multiplied tenfold during his incarceration in Alcatraz, there wasn't much in the way to the pass time beside reading and smoking when he wasn't in the infirmary, he couldn't believe how expensive these things had gotten, and this new fixation on health hazards; when he tried his first cigarette with his childhood best friend behind his father's shed, all he ever saw were cigarettes; in his father's shirt pocket, on the kitchen bench, at the drive – in smoking was the _cool_ thing, now however if you smoked you were a social pariah. It was reminder of how much he had missed. He missed growing old with Agatha, missed seeing Van grow up, have a wife and kids of his own. They were of his own making though; he had no one to blame but himself. He had long resolved to enjoy the small pleasures, to limit the mistakes he made, he had second chance now, something that not many people got. He wasn't going to let Chloe be a mistake. Taking in one last drag of his cigarette, he stubbed out the last half out and left the porch for his new destination.

Chloe tried to ignore the recent conversation replaying over and over in her mind and get at least a couple of hours of sleep before she had to babysit the two boys next door for Ms Harris, they were nice boys but five and seven years old and extremely hyperactive so she definitely needed sleep if she was to entertain them until Ms Harris got back from her job at the local petrol station. She felt a pang of regret at her quick and somewhat rude rejection of Tommy's attempt to repair their friendship, or their relationship or whatever it was, but that battled with the anger that she still had left over from just a couple of hours ago, he had no right to judge her that way and then to turn up on her doorstep expecting her to forgive him, no she was not impressed. Tossing and turning she struggled to find a comfortable position when she heard another knock on the door, eyes snapping open she felt the annoyance inside her increase tenfold.

"What do you want now?" she grumbled turning over and throwing the blanket over her head, she attempted to ignore his persistent knocking, she was going to kill him if he didn't stop trying to keep her from her much desired rest.

"Chloe?" she heard a voice call out, a voice that wasn't Tommy's. Panic seized her as she quickly sat up in bed, someone was in her house; she knew she should have fixed the stupid door. She looked around frantically, her heart pounded against her chest as she searched for some sort of weapon something to defend herself with. "Chloe? You home?" the voice called. Swinging her legs off the side of the bed, she registered that she knew the voice but she couldn't place who it belonged to. Dragging on her jeans in her haste to get to the doorstop that did a better job of getting in her way than actually keeping her door open she hoped it would serve her better as a weapon, creeping slowly out into the hallway she strained to hear any noises to where the man was, turning into the kitchen she jumped seeing her study partner.

"What the hell, Joey?! You scared the shit out of me." She said resting her hand over heart in hopes of catching her breath, as she put the doorstop on the kitchen bench.

"Sorry, Clo, the door was open." He chuckled, leaning casually against the counter.

"So what, you just let yourself in?" she asked irate, she was officially having a really bad day.

"Well I..." he began, his posture straightening noticing her frustrated demeanour.

"Wait, how do you even know where I live?"

"That's why I came; you left this at the library." He offered handing out the tan leather wallet.

"Oh, thanks."

"No problem."

"I'm sorry, I was so rude; you were really just being nice."

"No, its fine your right I shouldn't have yet walked in, I'm sorry"

The conversation stood at a standstill the awkward atmosphere rising in the room until it was almost suffocating.

"So," he said tapping his fingers against the peeling paint of the worn bench top, "Walk you to class?"

"What?" she asked her exhaustion and emotional state dulling her sense and comprehension. "We don't have class until this afternoon." She elaborated.

"No, today's lecture was cancelled remember, we have to go to the nine o'clock one." He insisted.

"Oh yeah, that's right, shit." She admitted running a hand over her face tiredly, she was definitely definitely having a bad day. "Just let me have a quick shower and we'll go." She acquiesced. She picked up her phone from where she left it this morning on the kitchen bench to call Mrs Harris to let her know she was going to be a little late.

He nodded his acceptance as she made her way towards the back of the house.

Chloe sipped on her coffee that Joey insisted on paying for, funny that, the claim chivalry is dead yet she knew two guys that insisted on being gentlemen. They walked in companionable silence, a walk that Chloe took almost every single day expect with a different man at her side. It was weird walking with Joey as opposed to Tommy with whom conversations were many and full they weren't opposed to silence, not at all but conversation flowed with ease and laughter, something she had surely missed moving to San Francisco.

Nudging his shoulder with hers he asked, "So are you going out tonight?"

"Yeah, I think the girls are dragging me out for a couple of drinks." She answered, with a small smile. Her girlfriends were far and few and quality time with all of them was hard to find in between classes, working and studying so she was looking forward to tonight. A chance to drink and dance away the stress of exams and angry thoughts of a certain blue eyed blond haired man. "What about you?" she asked.

"I've got to do a couple of things tonight for work but otherwise I think I'm just going to take it easy."

She nodded in understanding. Seeing the university up ahead she sighed heavily, normally she liked going to class, true most mornings she had to bribe herself to get out of bed but she honestly enjoyed being in class but today she really did not want to be here.

Joey raised an eyebrow at her, an unspoken question.

"Today is going to a long long day."

The music was loud and she could feel the vibrations under her feet and yet her friend, predictably tried to have a conversation with her over the thundering bass. She couldn't hear a word that was coming out of own mouth let alone Desire's, both girls shared confused looks and simultaneously laughed before Chloe gestured outside to the smoking area. Finishing her half full drink she stumbled to her feet, the alcohol and exhaustion making her clumsy yet she couldn't find it in herself to care the warmth of intoxication and the slight haziness making her carefree. Pushing their way through the crowds they reached the exterior of the bar and into the fresh air, finding a seat they rested their still aching feet from all the dancing they did earlier. The two other girls that they had met up had long gone home, one claiming work early the next morning and the other to continue her fight with her boyfriend, a typical nigh out really yet, it was better than nothing.

"So, met anyone new lately?" Desire slyly asked, suggesting that she already had her suspicions. Chloe hesitated in telling her about Tommy. She didn't know why exactly apart from the old habit of never trusting or opening up too much but also because what she and Tommy had, despite her annoyance towards him she deemed to private, something she wanted to keep to herself if only for a little while longer. Yet, Desire was her friend and she could do with someone else's perspective on the relationship or lack thereof that kept her mind working overtime. Desire caught the eye of the passing waiter and ordered them another round of drinks.

"Well…" she teased, laughing at her friend's excited yet 'come on don't bullshit me' expression.

"Well…come on give us the goss." Desire said slapping her on the leg playfully before sitting further into her chair getting comfortable.

Chloe beamed back at her, "His name is Tommy and I meet him at the café where I get my coffee every morning."

"And…" she pressed.

"And what? There isn't much more to add. We've met up a couple of time for coffee, and gone exploring the city a bit." The waiter returned placing their drinks in front of them as Desire shot him flirty smile.

Desire narrowed her eyes, huffing like she had just asked her to lend her a million dollars. "There is so much more that I need to know like; what's his last name? What does he do? Have you Facebook stalked him? What is his family like? What kind of car does he drive? What is he like in bed? How bid is he, this stuff is the most important stuff."

Chloe almost spat her drink out at the last two questions but settled on spluttering and coughing instead.

"What?" she croaked.

"You heard me, so go on answer the questions." Desire said entirely unsympathetic as she patted her friend on the back.

Regaining her bearings, she began to answer slowly "Um well… his last name is Madsen, he's working as a carpenter and no I haven't stalked him on Facebook; I doubt he even has it and I haven't meet his family and he doesn't really talk about them and he drives a 4WD sort of thing I don't know I don't really know cars."

"And his bedroom talents?" Desire asked, looking up from her mobile phone where she no doubt was in fact attempting to Facebook stalk him.

"I wouldn't know, we haven't," She replied simply, taking a few decent gulps from her drink, she was going to need some fortification if this conversation was heading in the direction it looked like it was.

Desire paused; thumb hovering over the screen as she looked at her seemingly taken by surprise at the admission. Chloe felt a sudden urge of anger at her friend, what she was supposed to jump in to bed with the guy the first chance she had. No, she wasn't like that and if she was deemed a prude for it then that was their problem not hers.

"I doubt we will anyway, he's an asshole." She continued, directing the subject away from sex and more towards the relationship and the thoughts currently plaguing her mind.

"What did he do?" Desire asked leaning forward as she put her phone down, abandoning her search for the elusive man. This was why Chloe was glad she was her friend, she didn't automatically assume that she was blowing things out of proportion or taking his side in an attempt to foster the budding relationship between her and Tommy. She was simply without question on her side and if she said Tommy was an asshole, then Tommy was an asshole.

"He pretty much called me a slut." She said, remembering the harsh sting of his words.

"What an asshole!" Desire exclaimed. "Why would he say that? Who does he think he is?!"

"He suggested that I was sleeping with Joey, my study partner and asked me what people would think. Who gives a shit what people think, even if I was sleeping with Joey, which I'm not by the way, is not any of his business or anyone else's for that matter!" She said similarly outraged, it felt fantastic to vent to a sympathetic audience.

"Has he even apologised?" Desire asked, signalling for another round of drinks.

"He tried, I think, earlier today but I kind of slammed the door in his face." She felt kind of guilty about it but the annoyance far outweighed it.

"Maybe, you should hear him out, I mean if he did try and apologise that shows that he knew he was in the wrong, at least make him grovel a bit." Desire suggested timidly. Chloe felt a little betrayed at the change in sides, what happened to solidarity and the war against men. She reluctantly agreed with her friend though, if he was going to apologise that had to stand for something she knew a lot of people wouldn't even feel guilty about it let alone attempt to apologise.

"Yeah, I suppose." She sighed.

"Let him come to you though." Desire added quickly and both girls shared a smile, this was the twenty-first century; no girl would crawl for any man.

Simultaneously picking up their drinks, they changed the topic to much more light hearted issues as Chloe silently agreed if somewhat hesitantly to give Tommy another chance.

Stumbling out of the taxi, she smiled at the nice older man and promised him that she really didn't drink all that much as he helped her to her door. Thanking him as he walked back down the drive she turned to find herself locked out of her own house, which was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous as her house didn't actually lock. Staring at the door, seemingly trying to will it to unlock itself she kicked over a coffee cup, looking down at the rolling cup, she swore she was never ever drinking again. Bending down to pick it up she realised it was strangely familiar yet with her muddled mind she couldn't place exactly why it was familiar. Hearing something rattle inside it, she opened it with far more difficulty than she should have and was even more confused to find a key wrapped in a note. Using the key to open the door she beamed with pride, she wasn't that drunk after all. Placing the key an unread note on the coffee table she staggered to her bedroom flinging clothes of as she went the mysterious note lock and key quickly forgotten as her thoughts were quickly consumed by Tommy Madsen and her promise to herself that she would speak to him again.

**Authors End Note; **I had a lot of trouble with this chapter and sort of lost my mojo after seeing the finale of Alcatraz but never fear I just recently brought the DVDs and now my mojo is back in force :D. I think one of my major issues is know how I want it to end and I know what is going to happen but it is just the trouble of getting there. I would really appreciate any constructive criticism you could give me, it makes me a better writer. So please review and thank you so much if you have stuck with this story for this long.


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